first entry

I have never used a blog before. i have been journaling since i was a child; in old notebooks full of scraps of tangible memories, the feeling and smell of the paper on your lap, scribbling ferociously to get the thoughts and feelings out of this mixed up head of mine. Im still on the fence about my feelings toward online blogs. I know i will cherish those journals and notebooks of mine forever. I feel that they have more character to them than that of a blog. More story to them. recently i have misplaced my latest journal. I am upset for many reasons; one being that i will not be able to have that record of these past few months to reflect on and i will never find it again, another is that anyone could find it and have it in there possession as i am typing this knowing my selfish emotions and insane ramblings, and lastly that it is not permanent. permanence is a concept i have been struggling with lately. what lasts, what do i plan on leaving behind. once i have posted this blog, i will forever be able to access it at one place or another. if there is a fire and all of my journals go up in smoke (knocks on wood) i would lose everything. sure my computer would most likely go with it, but all you need is you user name and password to go online again and pick up where you left off. i may continue to dable in the more traditional style of journaling, but i felt id give this a try. for my readers...im self conscious as it is. if you dont like what i have to write, dont read it but do not chastise me. thanks. hope those of you who read this get something out of it.